Sabbatical of Asura

           That meeting was greatly unhelpful. I felt greatly dissatisfied. They treated me like a joke.Like an equation. I feel more sad than before meeting them.

           How are they expecting me to be better when they don't bother to treat me as a fellow human? I am upset and I just want them to relieve me from this burning question. Why can't they stop treating me like a clown in the circus ,might as well throw a peanut to the monkey.

                 I am the victim of their ignorance but I cannot blame them because  is not their job to care. It's nobody job to care. YES, WHY NOT TOSS ANOTHER PEANUT TO THE MONKEY. Why not toss every mockery they hate listening to.

              I am very sure attacking my self-confidence is the best way to tackle this matter. Well, I am just a monkey in the zoo aren't I? Doomed to be a tourist attraction and public entertainment for the healthy and wealthy.

Epitome of Faithless Fraternity

          I am talking to god,dear god,lately my life is so hard,I am struggling so much,I'm crying too often and I'm my faith broken one too many times. Why give me faith when you break it to pieces. Why I bother believing in faith when it keep being shattered.I'm alone.I'm crying. I'm hurting too much.

         Is there anyone there to save me? Dear god, I'm hopelessly lonely. You send me a fiancee,but I am still lonely.My emotion is too complex,too wicked and unnatural for anyone to fathom. Is suffering is the only way to find meaning in our life? Awake to what end? Reality is too real for me and my imagination cupped by all the error of my doing. Does anything make sense. Why do we strive for order in chaos. We starve to death for order to survive the savage world.  My fault is to have faith. This faulty core natural survival instinct is tearing me to pieces like two atom smashed together in an atom collider  Like a plankton who will never survive the intestinal enzyme of vertebrates fish, I will never know the true meaning of happy. A self-proclaim poet bath in sticky liquid of damnation,ever never finding bliss nor peace,serenity nor tranquility.

        I am the  ugly down syndrome kid you secretly laugh at. I am the old shoe behind some random bushes. I am the kid who always nobody talk to in your class. I am the kid with no arm and leg. I am the fat kid who always be the goalie in football field. Have you guess who I am? Yes, my name is Pathetic,first,middle and last name.